Thanksgiving with The Dorsey's

Any event with the Dorsey's is always an adventure. There's bound to be joy, laughter, and at the very least, alcohol induced excitement! Mommy, Tyler, and I headed up the street to Cousin Gary and Ms./Cousin/Aunt Torin's (my play Auntie, Victoria, that fell in love with Cousin Gary's inherited Dorsey magic) house for Thanksgiving dinner this year. By the end of the night, my two younger cousins, Jayden and Ryanne (pronounced Ryan) had used my camera to start their own photography company (lol). I must admit that the little boogers had some pretty good aim. The food was good, the Mascato was sweet and the laughter was loud. Oh! Lest ye not forget the "world premier" (to the family) of my twin cousins, Julius' an Julian's, music video, "It's My Birthday". They taped it during August right in front of their grandmother's house (stifles laughter) and over at Druid Hill park. I must admit, that after a consecutive 3 time viewing of the video, and amidst all of my jokes, the video was nice. I'm proud to say that my cousins are "tryna get up out the hood." Take a look-see at some of the family.

The Way We Were

I was searching youtube, looking for a video of something random that I like. I'm extra EXTRA corny for this, but I really do like "The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand. She be sangin' on this song, ya'll. I remember seeing Beyonce perform this song at the Kennedy Honors and it made me do some research. I even went out and bought Funny Girl just to see what Ms. Streisand is really all about. But the "funny" thing is, I haven't watched it yet. Ha. Well anyway, take a look at Ms. Streisand....

And here's why I fell in love with the song to begin with.
Beyonce sings the hell out of this song.

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Thanksgiving Tips for 2009 as Provided By Brian 'Protype' Ajayi

My best friend Brian, in his infinite wisdom, decided that he would come up with 10 Thanksgiving tips for everyone this holiday season. Just looking at his tips made me die with laughter, so I thought that (with his permission of course) I would provide them to you all.

1. Don't show up to anyone's house (including mine) uninvited. Don't think cuz it's thanksgiving u won't get embarrassed. I will thank God u made it safely and then show you the door.
2. Don't go questioning all the food.......If you got to question it, take your hungry and picky behind home and heat up some oodles and noodles.........wit ya picky self.
3. Dern it its thanksgiving. Be thankful. Don't be mad because Aunt Luquasia didn't bring the pie...
4. Don't go to 8 houses and eat at all 8. That's being fat, not social.....
5. Don't go to someones house with the intention of wrapping food to go. There is a 45 minute visit time minimum to become eligible for a to go plate.
6. If u like a particular item on the menu, don't try to eat all of it in you first sitting. That's cause for you to get kicked the hell out. You know u wrong for that whole plate of stuffing. I wanted some.
7. DO NOT bring ur own plastic wrap to someone elses house. Its ghetto. BUT if you insist on being ghetto raise your standards and bring gladware. Its better for the environment.
8. If Aunt Bertha makes a Red Velvet cake that looks like pink cotton or mashed potatoes that look like chunky potato soup. TURN UR PLATE DOWN. GOD IS NOT PLEASED.Ur health is more important than her feelings.
9. If you get sick, don't blame it on that last corn kernel. Blame it on that 8th meal u just ate wit ya fat tail. U really want me to believe a corn kernel put u over the top.
10. If a family member is Not saved, wears dentures, has an oral disease, or is just plain nasty don't let them pray over the food. If they do pray and aren't saved, the family needs to pray harder. For all other discrepancies tell them to pray in their secret closet.

::BONUS TIP::

Don't waste your leftovers. Give them to the homeless. But don't give them something you wouldn't eat. That's some inconsiderate stuff.

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160?!!? AreYou Kidding Me?

Earlier this summer, I went to visit my friend Ronnie's father in the hospital. While waiting for his nurse to finish up with him, my Aunt Victoria weighed me on the scale. 152 lbs. Ok. Cool. *side eye*

Shortly after that I decided that I would take up baking. Baking has always been something that I enjoyed watching, but now I could finally, in the comfort of my own kitchen, bake away! Pound cakes and cheesecakes (well... cheese pies. I haven't made a traditional cheesecake as of yet). Orange cake and Red Velvet cakes (!!!!). And then, this past Thursday rolled around. I was at a scheduled doctors appointment, and honestly I was so concerned with both getting home and the hope of using that $1 coupon at Boston Market (did you use yours??? Every time I went over there the place was full of Negroes!) , that I kind of just mounted the doctors weight scale without thinking that I could have gained more than a pound or two since my last time on the scale. I kicked off my shoes and hopped on the scale, and within a few moments, the nurse quickly and without remorse said, "160." She said it so flatly that I was stunned. It wasn't her that I was stunned with, but it was just so frank. "160." "Pounds??" I said. "Yes." She said. *In Gucci Mane voice* "Well daaaamn"

After the nurse quickly whisked me into a room, and instructed me to change into a gown, I sat there in this blue gown trying to stop the breeze from grazing across my back side, and stared at the wall that held the Body Mass Index (BMI) chart. The colors ranged from green (I think) to red. Well... as I adjust my eyes to my weight in accordance with my height... and notice that my color is a light orange... *side eye*... I see that I'm looking at heart disease. "Well damn!" I talked to my doctor and simply put she said, in her West Indian accent, "This is your wake up call Greer!"

Yes it is... I'm 23. And I'm fat. But I carry it well... =)

I say all of this to say, that I'm going to try to lose 10 lbs, all the while praying that my butt doesn't go flat during the process.