Thursday, October 16, 2008

So I'm A Virgin After All

So... I think I set this thing up correctly... but I'm not totally sure. Hmmm...
So... Anyway... As the title says, I'm a virgin after all!! I mean, just because I've never done THIS type of thing before lol I've been having an urge to blog for a while, just so that I could have somewhere to place my rants and raves... Somewhere to place my tears and fears. And smiles too... I'm not as eloquent with my words as some. Maybe because I stopped writing. Maybe because reading was never really my thing, even though I did it anyway.

So... Really, what should my first blog be about? Should it be a deep walk down the beaten path of the girl raised by a single mother and not by the ever so opinionated father? Or should it be about life's simple things like, watching my grandmother laugh at her English comedies or listening to the bass develop in my 13 year old brothers voice? I really don't know. You know, I think I'd like to talk about love. So, here it go!

I think that love is amazing. Sometimes, I get extremely excited just imagining how wonderful it will be when I find that man to carry my heart in his and me carry his in mine. I believe that love is not something that was designed to be painful or evil or selfish, yet somehow whenever I ask my peers their honest opinions of it, they give such unhappy adjectives. Growing up, I've had my share of defeats in love, whether it be with my father or a boy in a boys body... or the boy in the man's body. At some point I decided to get the dictionary and the Bible and look up love's definitions. Neither definition (if you do not know what the Bible's definition is I suggest you crack that bad boy open... the same applies for the dictionary) used negative words. So what is it that goes on in our lives that makes our view of love so foggy and blue? I'm sure that our pasts play a major part. I'm sure that our fears of the anticipated trials in love come to fruition at some point as well. But what is it really that make our hearts hurt? We become selfish in love. We become boastful. We chase after love instead of just being open and waiting for it to come to us at its purposefully designed time. We are impatient! So what can we do to deal with love in all of its glory?

I don't know... Maybe you could think of an answer...